Yesterday I mentioned my concern about whether or not a principle still has value if your the only one who cares about it.
Yesterday I was sure that it did. Today has been a little bit harder.
I promised my department that I would stay with them for 12 more months in return for a retention increase -which they gave it to me.
Then I got offered a better job. Not just a better job, but a job I've been working towards for almost five years now.
What do you do?
Here are the questions I asked myself.
Where would I be most happy?
Is it breaking my integrity to leave?
If my boss got a better job offer - wouldn't he leave?
Is it smart to show loyalty to my department when chances are minimal that they will show loyalty to me later?
Are my goals more important than my integrity?
What do I get out of staying?...a pat on the back...by myself? what good is that?
Does God have plans that I don't know about?
Am I getting in the way?
I turned down the job. My dream job.
Yesterday I felt like it was the right thing to do. Today I feel heart broken. Crying at work is very unprofessional. But I went in the bathroom and cried.
I cried and cried and cried until my sides ached and I got hiccups and my head hurt. Personal Principles vs. Personal Goals. (Hash that one out for yourself. You'll cry too.)
Then, in between hiccups and more tears I had a funny thought:
"If integrity isn't important - why is it one of the Young Women Values?"
We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.
We will "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things,
and in all places" as we strive to live
the Young Women values, which are:
Faith
Divine Nature
Individual Worth
Knowledge
Choice and Accountability
Good Works
Integrity and
Virtue.
We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values,
we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants,
receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.
But it IS one the Young Women Values... so it must be important.
I repeated this thought several times in my head.
But it IS one the Young Women Values... so it must be important.
But it IS one the Young Women Values... so it must be important.
So...
even though this really hurts.
and I want to make it different.
Its going to be okay.
and that's the final conclusion. It's going to be okay. :)
"If there is one thing I have learned it is that when God can not give us what we want, He will give us everything He can. And we make it easier for Him to do that by making good choices and being good people."
- Carole Ann Faust
If I could, I would give you a big hug.
Aw I hurt for you. That would be such a hard decision. But you were right, God will take care of you. It always helps me to think of things in an eternal perspective and you just passed that test. It will get better!
You are such an amazing person. You've always been a great example to me, and I admire your integrity so much. I love you!
Did you tell your boss the situation?
This is sad.
Wow, Fitt. You are incredible. Thank you for elaborating on what you were talking about yesterday. You are one of the best people I know, no exaggeration. I love you! And thank you for that last quote. It's something I really needed to hear.
I now blog stalk you! :D and I, for one, am very glad that you are staying here... but I am sad you had to give up a dream like that. Oh that wise Carol Ann, I like her!
I agree with your decision 100%, although I wouldn't have thought any less of you if you chose the other way. Just think ahead a few years when you meet our ultimate Father, instead of choosing to present to him a great job, you chose to present to him your untarnished integrity. Great choice!!